My life's updates

I've just realised how screwed I've been of late. My way of thinking, mostly. I seem to be such a cynic; maybe it's cos of the experiences that I've had up till this very second of my life. But what doesn't kill me, makes me a stronger person. I think that's something I should be proud of. Updates on the few important things in my life: Family: Everyone's doing great, though busy, I guess. I haven't really talked to my folks since I came back to Singapore after the DeepaRaya holidays, been out studying all the time. Daddy's back in Jakarta, too. Elaine must be really busy with her reports and all cos I've not seen her online in a bit. Serene too. I miss them loads and I guess we'll all email more when the festive season comes around in December cos exams would be over by then. Am very much looking forward to that, cos it's always great to spend time with family, even if it's just over cyberspace. Chatting on MSN and Yahoo does help to keep our family together. Have you tried it? Especially those who are studying overseas; you need to keep yourself rooted to your family cos that's where you really belong, plus I still believe that blood is thicker than water. I can say with total conviction that my folks will unhesitatingly risk their lives to save mine; but I cannot think of any other persons who would do that for me. Neither will I do that for any other person other than my parents and sisters. Family love is something that you need forever. You can live without romantic love, but not love of and from your family. Friends: I've grown closer to some people, grown distant from some, and have a strange hanging-in-the-air relationship with some. Well, I previously mentioned that I'm not such a great friend, being unable to keep up with the emotional aspects of a friendship, and it's just really noticeable by the friends who enter and exit my life like the smell of waffles wafting in and out of your nostrils. I miss waffles and you. Been hanging out alot with Nankai - studying and all. It's something wonderful that came out of my crush on he-who-must-not-be-named! Haha. Well, we started talking about it and then somehow we got closer. And met up more often. And since he's close to Eve, I see her / talk to her more often now too. Hehe! And my darling roomie, of course, is one of the most important people in my life (discounting the fact that she could kill me in my sleep, of course, hur hur, if she wanted to) Haha. But I feel that we're becoming closer and closer, which is a good and healthy relationship between roomies! I'm just so thankful for a roomie like her cos I could have done much worse when I was randomly posted to Hall 4 in July. Oh, and Alex. : ) "Love" life: Haha. Nothing much to talk about, but what's over is over and should never be re-visited. There was something that was never meant to be, and I'm glad we ended it, before more damage was done. I hope you'll see my point one day, and 乖乖的 go back to your life the way it was, and pretend we never happened. (Haha) Sometimes, running away solves things better than facing it and not being able to do anything about it. Other than that, I still am with the belief that "all men are scumbags", and am very much the cynic when I talk about relationships. So if you want me to say something to convince you to save your flagging relationship, maybe you should turn to someone else for advice, cos I always paint a harsher reality than you would love to hear. I still try, though, to reassure my friends about their relationships, if I can. But I'm told sometimes that I make them think twice. Unintentionally, really! Hmm. Not really looking for anyone, and neither do I believe that any "Mr Right" will waltz into my life one day and sweep me off my feet. These kinda guys do not exist, at least not for me. Spiritual life: Talking to Angela last night made me realise how far I've gone without God. And it's far off the right track. Will go back to church soon. Just have to find one. Even if I may not be as convicted as before, some degree of faith in a "higher authority" will do me good. I believe that it will make me more focused, more aware of what I am doing and what (a monster) I am turning into. Haha. God is good. It's really not that I do not believe anymore, rather, it's just that I have stopped turning to God for help. When things go wrong, all I do is to wallow in self-pity and later try to pick myself up and continute where I left off (which is interminably better than grovelling at others' feet, trying to get them to save you, but of course, entirely debatable). Emotional (health): Haha. I've been feeling rather in the dumps a couple of months back up till a couple of weeks ago. It was pretty bad, I must say. But I am all better now - so much so that I think my blog layout is too dark for my liking! Not to say that I am not a cynic anymore, oh but I am! I am just feeling much happier now about who I am. I am Daphne, daughter of LYC and YSL, a sister of Doreen, Elaine and Serene, a friend to many people, a trainee teacher majoring in English Language and Literature at NIE, Publication Officer of NTUSU, Editor-in-Chief of the NTU Tribune, a part-time promoter of SingTel, a perfectionist in the things I'm passionate about, a cynic about love and life, a struggling do-what-you-believe-in-advocator, a repressed rebel, a blogger, an honest critic about things I dislike, a loving person who will care for things and people I love. Maybe that's all I want to be right now. And that's all that's important to me. Career/Ambition: Being in SU probably opened up my eyes to alot of things, and I am more able to say what I want in life now or, at the very least, what I do not want. I've also learnt a lot about working with people, and being in constant contact with the (shitty) admin really does make me realise that life is not a bed of roses where your blue prints grow into fantastic state-of-the-art buildings all by themselves. It's a helluva bumpy ride where you're sitting on the boniest pony who gets tired so often that you have to get down and drag yourself (and bony pony) along the gravel path with sharp rocks cutting into the flesh of your bare feet. But other than that, studies and school is just not that good, and I am just trying to get myself through school decently. Upon graduation I will get a stable job without my having to send in 28 resumes a day for 2 months straight. I will get posted into a school where I will probably stay for the next four years till I fulfill my bond. Afterwhich, anything can happen. I have some plans and ambitions. Before I die, I want to try: (1) being a journalist (2) working in an events management company (3) owning a cafe (4) making handicrafts for sale (5) being a bartop dancer (?!) Haha. The last one just came out of nowhere but I think that would be interesting! I'll just have to wait till I get out of my teaching career, because it's not very fantastic for my career to be known as the primary-school-teacher-cum-bartop-dancer in the newspapers? But eh, why is it that teachers must behave so well? Haha. I think we have a right to being wild and having a nightlife too. Who says it's wrong anyway? Argh. Societal restrictions. Teachers are so oppressed and misunderstood! Anyways, also pertaining to 'career' (sort of, cos it's my job, right?) I am starting work at SingTel again after exams. Immediately, actually. I emailed May and she called me back with a job assignment as SingTel promoter at the upcoming mega fair next weekend. I'm so glad because it translates directly into moolah for the next academic year! So, anyway, that's what's been happening in my life. Not terribly exciting, but it's my life and I don't mind it all that much. In fact, when I think about it, I am better off than alot of people I know, who are simply just so sick that they can't see themselves as being mentally unsound. I was there too, but I am better now. So I am better off! Haha. Yesterday morning, I woke up at 9, did some stuff in the room, then went to S4 reading room to study with Evelyn. She was with her classmate Edward. We were later joined by fellow Aura Bananas Hew Hui, and Angela. Studied studied studied, did some project work. Angela bought us Macs for lunch cos she came around lunchtime! Hui Hui and Eve brought their doggy soft toys. So cute! But silly. Haha! I wanted to bring mine today too, but I am stuck in hall with a swollen eye (more on this later). Lis brought me potato salad in a container with a cute little kitty sticker (possibly added as a sweet and thoughtful gesture to remind me of her cat Tiger)! She came all the way to South Spine before going to Hall 7 to see Dickson. I love her potato salad. It's super yummy, and everyone said so! Once you start, you really have to pry yourself away from it. Yum yum! Thank you so much, darling! Hehe. In the evening, we nerdy muggers went for dinner at Canteen 1 (Ed drove), but Huihui didn't go cos she's vegetarian (and also cos she had her someone special *ahem ahem* bringing her special delivery! That's one more pretty girl off the market, so boo to you guys Haha). Eve's bf, Alex, came to pick her up from S4 so we all went out for supper at around 1am, at Ah Fang. I just had a Horlicks peng but Eve and Angela had pratas. We were talking about Alex-es. Eve's bf is Alex, Angela's friend (who lives in Hall 4, and whom we were gonna visit later) is Alex too, and my senior-junior-Union-partner-in-crime is Alex too. I called him to ask if he wanted supper, and that was how the conversation about Eve's Alex, Angela's Alex and Daphne's Alex started. Well, Angela's and mine are not really ours per se, but for conversation's sake. Haha. Super lame, and Eve's Alex was quite amused? I think? Haha. Angela stayed over with me, and we went visiting abit before we came back to the room. Went to her Alex's room (in Block 27), and chatted with him for quite awhile. Realised that he is Hall 4's Sports Sec, and his roomie Jon is the Asst. Rec Sec. Plus they are all close friends with Brandon (PJC mate and Biz Mag of Hall 4), and another girl (I'm sorry I forgot her name but she is our Rec Sec). Anyways. The Rec Secs are important to me cos I am a Rec player! Haha. So right. After that we dropped by to say hi to my Alex and Glen (and Shimin was there too). Then showered, then chatted abit, then slept around 4am plus. When I woke up this morning (actually it was around noon) after a persistant Angela insisted that I should be eating lunch soon, I grudgingly got out of bed and noticed a pain in my right eye. Couldn't really open it but I thought it was just like the pain that I had in my left eye last week. So anyway, I dragged my lazy grumpy sleepy bum out of my room and we went to brush our teeth together. I looked in the mirror, and OMG! My eye was swollen like fuck! It was half the size of my normal left eye! Gosh. Don't know what happened to it over the night. Just checked it again and it looks much less swollen now. Anyways, it was so bad. I wanted to cry, but it's so stupid to cry just over a swollen eye, which might be further aggravated by the activated tear glands. Haha. So we went for lunch anyway. Sean, her BF came to pick her up afterwards, and then I went to see a doctor about my eye. It's just an irritation, he said. Or possibly an allergic reaction (WTF?!). To what? Potato salad? Horlicks peng? Or wanton mee? Bullshit. So I think it's just an irritation caused by, maybe, sleeping on a different bed last night. Haha. I'm kidding. Xiaoyun's bed is totally clean. Haha! I'm just being lame. And this entry is too long. And I should go and rest abit before continuing my work. Mwah mwah. Thank you to all who left comments for the last couple of days.